Change comes from within. Or something.

I've been kind of mopey about working on my first chapter. It doesn't help that I'm sick with the whole coughing, sore throat, stuffy nose going on. My husband sat me down and asked what the problem is. I told him my manuscript sucks. He said he doesn't understand why because the story idea is good and the scenes he's read are good. I tried to simplify my answer in one sentence to explain AGAIN why there is a problem: Seth doesn't change. When the story begins, he's ALREADY changed.

To my non-writer husband, the problem is simple then. I started the story too late. And... he's right.

I hear again and again about writers starting their story in the wrong place. They start too early. They start where there isn't any action. They try to set the scene and don't engage readers like they should. I went all wacky here and started AFTER the action. I let Seth change off-screen. WHAT IS THE POINT OF ALL THAT?

I have big revisions to do. HUGE. But I'm excited about this project again. Nervous as hell, but excited. Because this is fixable. I can do this.

Eight

I've been tagged by courtneywrites. I never get tagged! But now I have been! The rules: Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1. I recently - within the last three weeks, in fact - developed a bizarrely intense crush on Hayden Christensen. For days I was thinking about him constantly, reading about him online, and looking at pictures of him. But then I watched LIFE AS A HOUSE and the crush went away. Mostly. (I'm still waiting for the arrival of SHATTERED GLASS, which I ordered online.)

2. I don't like fingernail upkeep. So, I cut my nails short, let them grow, and then when one of them breaks, I cut them all again.

3. Even though my mom became a vegetarian when I was seven years old, I still ate meat occasionally. When I was sixteen, I decided to try giving up chicken and turkey (the only meats I was still eating at that point) for my New Year's Resolution. My plan was to eat one or the other every day from Christmas to New Year's Eve. But on the 28th of December, I had some bad chicken McNuggets and ended up giving up meat right then. I have never had it since.

4. One of my favorite books is MERMAIDS by Patty Dann.

5. I always had kind of a thing for the character Jordan Catalano on MY SO-CALLED LIFE. (You know, because he's so pretty!) In February, I went to see 30 Seconds to Mars in concert because Jared Leto - the actor who played Jordan - is in the band. At one point, JL jumped off the stage and ran out to where I was standing. The spotlight was shining on him and he looked RIGHT AT ME while he sang! It was so surreal, but so very cool.

6. Whenever we get aerosol whipped cream, I constantly make trips to the refrigerator to shoot some into my mouth. My husband (jokingly) accuses me of huffing, but I've never huffed in my life. I just really like whipped cream!

7. My husband and I bought our first home when I was 24 and he was 26. We still live here five and a half years later. I still don't really like this house.

8. When I was fourteen going on fifteen, neither my boyfriend nor I had ever been kissed. We really wanted to kiss each other, but we were too shy. One day, we decided we had to kiss. We stood in the rain for about twenty minutes, just staring at each other. Even though we were completely soaked and shivering, we couldn't do it. Then his mom drove up, so we hid in the bushes. And that's when he kissed me. It was half my life ago, but my heart still beats faster whenever I remember.

And now for the tagging. And, please, if you don't want to play along, don't worry about it. I won't be offended. :-)

, cahra, jengt, mandymorgan, nymwae, phoebe_k, terriclark, westlund_lang

Pondersome Quote.

Fiction writing is a lonely business not because you're estranged from other people, locked away in your room or your kitchen alcove or your office, reading and typing, but rather because, in order to write fiction, you have to be estranged from yourself. ~Brad Listi (paraphrasing David Foster Wallace)

Too much information.

I visit blogs and message boards frequently to learn more about writing and publishing. It's helpful, I suppose. It makes me feel connected. And yet, there are times when it is just so overwhelming. Seeing all these rules and opinions about what must be done with characters, plotting, etc. make my head hurt. Sometimes I wonder if trying hard to apply all this information is actually making me a worse writer.

What I'm up to now.

It's been a little weird around here since I read my "first draft" last week and realized it is not the story I meant to write. And that I don't like the story I wrote. I'm not wallowing in misery or anything; I'm just pondering my next move. So, instead of pushing forward like I'm always trying to do, I've been actively NOT writing. I just applied for a 12-week online YA writing course set to start late-June. (I did this class in the fall of 2006 with a different instructor.) There is no obligation at this point, but since I've taken the time to apply and I since feel like this is the right direction to go right now, I think I'll probably end up in the class. (Well, unless they reject me for some strange reason, which I really don't see happening. Oh, can you imagine how shocked I'll be if I don't get in now?)

I researched writers' conferences again and I definitely want to go to the Surrey conference in late-October this year. There are at least five agents on the list looking for YA there, several of whom sound terrific. I'm pretty much planning to be there unless I have an agent before then. My goal now - no matter what! - is that THE FAKE MCCOY will be ready to submit and pitch in time for the conference.

After almost a week off, I'm almost ready to come back and see if I can get started writing a first chapter I can love. One thing that's really nice is that the way my schedule works out with the Memorial Day holiday, I get six days off in a row starting on Friday! That should be a great time to make progress.