Hey, my Carnation, Well, I just looked back and realize it's been a little more than a month since Liz first told me that Curt liked me. On March 2nd, she asked him if she still does and he says yes. This is too odd for me to handle. I feel so weird around him. I mean, I really like him, I just don't understand him. It seems like if I talk to him a lot he kind of backs off and it takes days to get back to a normal state of conversation.
This year, I'm a lot more confident that I was last year, but Curt makes it hard since he's this shy, quiet, very deep person whom I can't seem to get close to. It makes me so frustrated sometimes that I could die.
I used to think when people would tell me that he liked me that they were just saying that to make me get my hopes up and then find out he really didn't. I thought it was the school's joke or something.
Now I don't think that. I don't know what to think. One thing I noticed about us is that it is so hard for us to make eye contact with each other.
Now Carnation, I am going to admit something to you that I would never, ever tell anyone. The thing is, I like him so much that even the little zit on his chin is cute to me. (If I ever stop liking him, this will crack me up when I read it again!)
There's a song, it says--Even if I'm right next to you, you're still too far away - if I'm not inside your arms. Sometimes that's exactly how I feel. When we walk together, I am always wishing that he had his arm around me or would hold my hand.
(If only you could see me right now. I'm so embarrassed.)
I love you!
