Puking while upset.

I see it all the time in fiction.  You see it, too.   

A character is scared, angry, nervous, shocked, or feeling some other intense emotion.  And then... the character loses it.  And by "it," I mean... the contents of their stomach. 

In a late draft of TFM, I had THREE different scenes where Seth puked.  In the first, he was having this, like, emotional breakdown and crying all violently.  In the second, he was nervous.  In the third, he was drunk.  

My husband read the scenes and said, "Okay, what is up with this kid?  Does he have some kind of stomach disorder or what?  He's always getting sick."

I said, "No!  He's upset!  He's very, very emotional sometimes.  You know, because he's been trying so hard to suppress these emotions!  It all has to come out somehow."

"He's upset so he's puking his guts out?" he asked.  "Really?  When's the last time you were so upset that you got sick?"

It was a valid question, so I gave it some consideration.  

Yes, I thought about it long and hard.

I opened my mouth to speak.  

Then I puked.

No!  I'm kidding!  Kidding, kidding, kidding!  That never happened!

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came.  Because to my best recollection, I have never once in my life gotten sick because I was upset.  I've been upset because I was sick.  (Puking makes me cry every time.  I hate that feeling so much.)  And I've been nervous enough that's I've wondered if I might get sick.  (Like when I did karaoke at that bar that one time.)   I realized, though, that over the years I have experienced many real-life moments that might make a fictional character sick.  But my reaction to these moments has never come in the way of vomit.  

So, really.  Is puking as a result of being upset as common as we fiction writers make it out to be?  If not, why do so many of us write these scenes?  Because of the beauty of a good, literal purge in the midst of subtle symbolism?  

Have you ever written a scene like this?  Have you ever thrown up because you were upset?   Please tell me about it.  Because I really want to know!  

P.S.  After my husband pointed it out, I altered two of my three Seth-gets-sick scenes.  The only one that stayed was the drunk one.  Because that is a reaction I know very well.  And, most importantly, it fit the story and was the most meaningful for the character's arc.   A vomitous climax!  So lovely.

Hee!

I just got a request from an agent for the first 50 pages of THE REAL MCCOY. 

I actually don't have a manuscript by that name, so I think I'll send her 50 pages from THE FAKE MCCOY instead. 

For posterity.

Over the weekend, I thought of a new idea for a story.  The inspiration came last night while I was trying to sleep after a second viewing of the film WAITRESS, and a first viewing of the season one finale for ONE TREE HILL.  I don't know how, if, or when I'll be able to develop this idea.  Or if I even want to.  But I think I want to.

My new idea feels kind of magical right now.  Not in any kind of paranormal/fantasy way.  Not at all.  It's another contemporary with a literary bend.   But it does have a decent hook.  Or, at least, I think it does.  It would probably work best as YA, but I think it could be an adult novel if I wanted to go that route.  Which is weird because I've spent the past four years thinking I'd never, ever be able to write something that isn't YA.  What next?  I'll come up with a middle grade idea?!

At the moment, my critique partners and my editor pal are getting more and more excited about the MEOW SISTERS outline.  And I like it, too.  It's interesting to see how different it feels when a story starts with the plot and hook decided upon first instead of with fully developed characters whom I try to create a story for.  It's all weird, though, because even though all signs are pointing for me to get going on MEOW, I've spent all day thinking about this new hypothetical one.  Truthfully, I'm kind of... aching to write it. 

I've never worked on more than one project at a time, and I might not be able to do so now.  But I find myself wondering if writing both could give me some much-needed balance. 

Actor mother?

Yes, still brainstorming for MEOW.  I'm always on the lookout for elements that aren't overdone.

Can anyone think of any YA where a character has a mother whose career is in acting?  

(If I used this, the actor-mother wouldn't be the point of the story--AT ALL--or have anything to do with the hook.  I'm just trying to work out some motivations and backstory for a character, and this might fit.  I'm considering maybe a small-role soap actress or something.)

Crying over a rejection.

I don't cry over rejections.  I mean, I haven't.   The not crying isn't a conscious decision I've made.  Rejections numb me.  I read them again and again and again.  And for those minutes, I'm alone with the words, and I cease to feel anything at all.  And then, I (metaphorically) pick myself up and move on.

But just now--a little over 24 hours after receiving that last one--I did cry.  

I was trying to respond to an email from a friend in publishing who frequently works with the agent who sent that rejection and who is a million times more knowlegable about this whole business-of-writing thing than I am.  She is being super, super supportive.  I mean, I wasn't whining or anything; just letting her know the status of things because she likes me to keep her updated.   She wrote me this really long response about how this rejection is a good and significant thing, that I need to take a moment to let that sink in, that I have the potential to do something great with my writing, that I shouldn't rush this or settle.  And lots and lots of stuff like that.

And I guess it's like, she's telling me that, in her opinion, I have it.  That I'm going to do it.  Someday.  Maybe not with Seth's story.  But someday.  I'm close.  But not close enough.  Maybe not yet.  There's something missing, I know what it is, and now I just need to figure out what to do about it. 

So, I was trying to respond to that.   To say that I've already been thinking about this and preparing myself for the idea that this book might not go anywhere.  That I learned so much about voice and point of view from writing Seth that it was all worth it, and now I'm ready to apply what I learned there with what I'm now learning about hook and plot.   I'm okay with this maybe not being the one.   

But that?  Is. A. Lie.  

So, I'm crying.  And I'm writing about the fact that I'm crying so that I can come back and re-read this some day and see how I was keeping it so very real, yos.  And so that I won't forget that I have, in fact, cried over a rejection letter.

Yes, I'll feel better tomorrow.  I'll feel better as the days go on.  I'm not okay with this yet, but I will become so if need be.  And I'll do it all better next time.  The absolute truth is that even if does turn out that the concensus is that my pacing really was for shit and my characters aren't as deep as they could be, etc., I know that I did not let myself down with my latest project.  In February 2008, I finished writing the best story I was capable of at that time.  I can only get better now.  The next one will be better.  So, if it isn't going to be the one, maybe the one after that will be.