Detailed Rejection. Kind of.

 I received a rejection on my full manuscript today.  

Dear Mindi:

Thanks so much for sending THE FAKE MCCOY for my review.  Let me start by saying, you have shown a wonderful voice and feel for the written word.  I do see a "writer" in these pages, which hold so many wonderful moments.  But overall, while the characters appeal, they do not achieve sufficient depth and are sometimes overshadowed by "issues" that plague; and while narrative has dimensions of interest, pacing is uneven and plot line feel familiar and somewhat predictible.  As a result, the tensions and connections you seek to build do not reach their potential.

If I might offer a bit of advice... I would change the title (this one doesn't do your story justice), looking to something a bit more representative... perhaps Life Behind the 8-Ball; or 8-Balls and Empathy?  I would weed out some secondary characters that don't bring a great deal to the table, and look to focus on those that matter.  More importantly, I would also look for some angle that would set this teen story apart from the many others out there, giving you the blend of humor and pathos your voice carries so well.  I wonder if the empathy rules of the IC class might be made a stronger part of your story, with Seth and Rosetta using them in humorous and meaningful ways as a guide to relationships and decision-making?

Of course, I am but one humble opinion, and surely, others may feel quite differently.  Please know I very much appreciate this opportunity to have considered this work and send you all good wishes.

Sincerely, 
[Agent]

I do appreciate that she gave me some concrete criticisms and suggestions.   It was very kind, and more than most agents have done for me.  But it is hard to know what the heck she's talking about without specific examples.  Like, where is the pacing uneven?  Everywhere?  I know that writers aren't the best judges of their own work, but I'm pretty good at spotting uneven pacing in other people's writing.  So, I'm not sure where I would focus on fixing my own.  I put it together in such a way that I felt was even at the time.  You know?

I'm also not sure which of those secondary characters should be elimated.  I can think of two who don't add a lot (the drummer in Seth's first band, and the guitarist in the second), but they appear infrequently and are there to keep the story realistic.  I guess I could just never have them appear?  I'm not sure.  I'm not sure who else is in there who needs to go.

I do like her ideas for the title change.  Immediately upon finishing the "final" draft, my husband said, "I think you're going to have a hard time keeping your title.  Some editor out there is probably going to want something with an 8-Ball in it."  He might very well have been right!

Anyway, I'm not really in a place to look at this letter as complimentary.  My eyes kind of scan over those parts and focus on how it basically seems like this agent thinks the whole book sucks.  

So, blargh. 

Lifeguards?

Can anyone think of any YA out there where the MC has a summer job as a pool lifeguard?

The Door.

Nathan Bransford wrote about plot last week.  He called the entry "Do You Have Plot?" and used an opening and closing door analogy similar to what I'd read the night before in James Scott Bell's PLOT & STRUCTURE.  (Thanks to

[info]jmprince

 and

[info]britlitfantwin

 for that recommendation, by the way!)  

Now, maybe I've heard this analogy before, but I must not have cared or paid attention back whenever that might have been.  This time around, it's really sinking in.  I've been thinking many thoughts about plot as a door in regards to the project I'm currently planning and other novels I've read.   It really works!  

In the midst of all this learning, I became concerned that maybe TFM doesn't have this structure.  I started rereading my draft Sunday night and finished this morning.   I was glad to realize it does work!  The part I hadn't been able to figure out was when the door actually closes, but when I got to that part in the story, I could pretty much feel it slam.  (And I still love the story as much as I did when I finished writing it in February, so that was good news.)

This weekend, my sister helped me with more brainstorming for MEOW SISTERS.  I'd been considering (another) new direction for a couple of days based on an off-hand comment one of my crit partners made.  Talking through it helped me see that it was okay to scrap almost everything I had before.  Not only that, but I should scrap it.  (Sorry, there will be no half-sister twins after all!)  I now feel like I have something that will work.  I still have the same hook, but with better, stronger parallels.  I also worked out character backstory and motivations that make sense all around, and I have a decent idea of what will set the door ajar, keep it open, and eventually close it.   

Moving forward, I want to keep making decisions about these characters that will support the hook and plot.  I have to say, all this emphasis I've been putting on hook and plot feel like a backward and unnatural way to go about my writing, but I see the value in it, and I'm hoping it will pay off.  

When I look back on how MEOW has changed since I first thought of it over three years ago--and even how it has changed since I decided to re-focus on it a couple of months ago--the only things that have remained the same are the title, the two main characters' names, their deep-down essences, and the fact that they are half-sisters.  In the past, I've had certain characteristics and storylines planned for each of them that seemed non-negotiable, but I've had to let go of those things.  In doing so, I'm creating a better, more coherent story.  I know it.  I can feel it.  

It is a very good feeling.

Contest results.

One of my New Year's Goals for 2008 was to enter a literary contest.   And I did!  I entered TFM in the novel writer's contest PNWA puts on every year.  For this, one submits a synopsis (not to exceed five pages) and the opening chapter(s) for their novel so that the entire submission is 28 pages or less.

I checked the site the other day and saw that I am not a finalist.  And that sucks.  Because I wanted to win so very badly!  

So, I got my two critiques in the mail today.  Writers don't get to see the actual score sheets, but I can surmise from the comments that I had to have scored high in almost every category from both readers.   They both said they got very sucked in by the voice, and found the idea and style engaging.  One used exclamation points about how the humor and emotional scenes were particularly evocative.  As far as criticisms, I'm guessing one must have marked me down in the mechanics category because s/he said there were two missing words: one in the synopsis and one on page 19.  I just checked and there is nothing missing anywhere!  I must have fixed those errors after sending out the submission?  The other reader must have marked me down about whether the protag's motivations are clear because s/he pointed out in the comments that s/he didn't learn until page 22 that this is about a death issue, and said that I should make it clearer sooner.  Which is certainly something to consider.  

Anyway, they were great critiques in the ego-stroking way, which is excellent!  Except... I still didn't win.  And I didn't place.  And I wasn't even a finalist.  :-(

I spent a little time today looking into other novel contests that are run in this same way.  Most of the deadlines have long since passed for 2008, but there are two or three still open until the fall.  I might enter.  You know, to see if I can get some fricken validation over here!