A Letter to Readers: Why I Wrote LIVE THROUGH THIS

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On January 30, 2010, I awakened once again from the disturbing dream that I first started having when I was a teenager.

In many ways, the dream mirrored the sexual abuse that I’d experienced when I was younger, and I always awoke from it feeling all of the same shame, confusion, guilt, and self doubt. These feelings were not a result of the abuser being cruel or rough toward me; they were because in course of the dream—as well as in real life—he was very much the opposite of those things.

That particular January day, I couldn’t seem to shake it off. I lay miserable in bed for over an hour, staring at the ceiling until I was finally compelled to do something with my emotions.  So I got up, went to my computer, and started typing.

After I’d finished several paragraphs (which now appear in the first chapter of the book), I read them back and thought: How can I possibly consider writing about this?

It seemed to me that even though a story was rapidly unfolding in my mind, I should stop thinking about it. But the idea kept nagging at me throughout the day.

I wondered whether having the opportunity as a teen to read a book that reflected what I was going through could have given me the comfort I’d needed and the strength to begin to heal sooner.

I thought about how most of the depictions of sexual abuse I’ve seen in movies and books are characterized by violence and threats.

I remembered that it wasn’t like that for me, and that I’d grown up feeling as if the things that had happened didn’t matter because I hadn’t been physically harmed.

I reflected on when I finally got help while in my twenties, and how I came to understand—after months of therapy—that abuse doesn’t always look like abuse, it doesn’t always feel like abuse, but that doesn’t mean that the victim wanted it or is responsible.

Then I realized that, yes, I still have the occasional upsetting dream, but I’m an adult now and I’ve truly moved away from my past. Meanwhile, right now, there are so many young people who are experiencing the things that I’ve experienced and keeping it all a secret like I did for so long.

That realization was what made me decide that no matter what, I couldn’t possibly consider not writing about this.

So I did.

A Letter to Readers: Why I wrote LIVE THROUGH THIS

As I've said before, my second novel, Live Through This, is a story that I never intended to write.

I've posted a letter for readers on my website (which also appears in the Advance Reader Copies) to share a little more about why I did decide to tell this story. It wasn't an easy book for me to finish (no book ever is!), but as you'll see, once I'd thought it through, making the decision wasn't difficult like I had long believed it to be.

"On January 30, 2010, I awakened once again from the disturbing dream that I first started having when I was a teenager.

In many ways, the dream mirrored the sexual abuse that I’d experienced when I was younger, and I always awoke from it feeling all of the same shame, confusion, guilt, and self doubt. These feelings were not a result of the abuser being cruel or rough toward me; they were because in course of the dream—as well as in real life—he was very much the opposite of those things.

That particular January day, I couldn’t seem to shake it off. I lay miserable in bed for over an hour, staring at the ceiling until I was finally compelled to do something with my emotions.  So I got up, went to my computer, and started typing.

After I’d finished several paragraphs (which now appear in the first chapter of the book), I read them back and thought: How can I possibly consider writing about this?

It seemed to me that even though a story was rapidly unfolding in my mind, I should stop thinking about it. But the idea kept nagging at me throughout the day.

I wondered whether having the opportunity as a teen to read a book that reflected what I was going through could have given me the comfort I’d needed and the strength to begin to heal sooner.

I thought about how most of the depictions of sexual abuse I’ve seen in movies and books are characterized by violence and threats.

I remembered that it wasn’t like that for me, and that I’d grown up feeling as if the things that had happened didn’t matter because I hadn’t been physically harmed.

I reflected on when I finally got help while in my twenties, and how I came to understand—after months of therapy—that abuse doesn’t always look like abuse, it doesn’t always feel like abuse, but that doesn’t mean that the victim wanted it or is responsible.

Then I realized that, yes, I still have the occasional upsetting dream, but I’m an adult now and I’ve truly moved away from my past. Meanwhile, right now, there are so many young people who are experiencing the things that I’ve experienced and keeping it all a secret like I did for so long.

That realization was what made me decide that no matter what, I couldn’t possibly consider not writing about this. 

So I did."

On the blog: Denise Jaden's NEVER ENOUGH book launch.

On Saturday, July 14th, Dwayne and I ventured up to Mission, British Columbia for the book launch of Denise Jaden's second novel, Never Enough. 

Wait! Quick side note: Last week, Denise did a short interview for me at Michelle's and my blog, WE HAVE WORDS. If you click on this link and leave a comment at the end of that interview, you will be automatically entered to win books galore from a contest Denise is running!

Okay, back to the event! So it was on Saturday and took place at Black Bond Books. Simon & Schuster provided beverages and snacks (including a platter of yummy desserts!). Denise signed books, talked about her inspiration for writing this book and what the process had been like to do so, and read a short except for her crowd of fans. 

Here are a just a couple of pictures that we got:

Denise, reading a first-chapter excerpt. (And apparently, using zoom on my phone's camera makes the pictures smaller?)

Denise and me! (You can't tell, but we're totally both wearing white capri pants in this picture. Because that's how we roll.)

Oh, funny story: One of the employees came up to me and said, "You're Mindi Scott?" She went on to mention that she was familiar with my first book, Freefall, and it was her understanding that I have a second book coming out in October. We chatted for several minutes about books, in general, and the fact that Dwayne and I had met while we both worked at a bookstore ourselves. 

After she walked away, I was in awe and said, "Wow! I can't believe she recognized me like that!"

Dwayne admitted then that it was he who had told her who I was, which made me laugh. I'm still not famous, just as I'd suspected all along. ;-)

Anyway, it was wonderful to see Denise again and great to see her celebrating a book that she worked so hard on. (Which I finished reading this morning, by the way, and LOVED.)

It was also a nice day to take a 5-hour round-trip drive. Dwayne and I had a fun time traveling together through the farm lands, freaking out from all the border patrol on H Street (the longest street IN THE WORLD), and stopping for ice cream and pizza (yes, in that order) on the way home. Hooray for fun times!

Reactions to LIVE THROUGH THIS

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 "What makes this more than another 'problem' novel is the author's steadfast refusal to deal in stereotypes and easy answers. [ . . . ] Required reading for anyone who's ever wondered 'why didn't they just tell someone?'" ~ Kirkus Reviews, Starred Review

"Scott handles Coley's confusion over her own body's reactions to the assaults and her conflicted love for her abuser with subtlety and sensitivity." ~Publisher's Weekly

"Dramatic without melodrama, this title respectfully examines incest and sexual abuse." ~School Library Journal

"Readers will find themselves utterly compelled as Coley deals with the confusion of hating this forbidden relationship, but feeling betrayed by her own body’s positive reactions." ~VOYA Reviews

“Harrowing, sad, funny, and romantic. I couldn’t put it down.” –Stephanie Perkins, author of Anna and the French Kiss

“Intensely emotional and beautifully crafted, I savored every word.” –Amanda Grace, author of In Too Deep

“An honest and realistic portrayal of what it is to live with secrets and shame.” –Jo Knowles, author of Lessons From a Dead Girl

"Mindi Scott has a real talent for getting inside her protagonist’s head. She sketches out Coley’s story in grand swathes, and then paints in all the little details, so that you feel as though you are enmeshed in Coley’s brain: thinking her thoughts, feeling her confusion, anger, and, in the end, pain. I just don’t think it’s possible to read this book and not identify with Coley in some way." -Amber Benson, actor/writer/director

"I am a very picky person who doesn't like very many things...but I loved this." - Sarah Kuhn, author of One Con Glory

"What I loved most about this book was that it didn't give us the answer. It made us exam our own lives, our own feelings, our own values surrounding family and what love is." -Christa Desir, author of Fault Line

"I absolutely recommend Live Through This by Mindi Scott with all my heart because it is emotional, it’s well written and it provides a much needed survivor perspective that absolutely does not blame the victim." - April, community educator for a domestic violence/rape crisis agency

"I am hoping for many good things for this book, because not only is it a story (too) many people need to hear–it is supremely well-written and does what every good book should do: reveal complicated truths about what it means to be human." –Holly Westlund, bookseller at A Children's Place in Portland, Oregon

"This is not a book for everyone [. . .]  But for the right reader, this is THE book. The one that will change their life." -Jessica at I Read to Relax!

"Live Through This blew me away and shattered my heart . . . Writers who can make me feel so intensely are few and far between, but Mindi Scott has certainly earned a spot on that list. -Andrea at Reading Lark

"What can I possibly say that could sum up how I'm feeling after reading this story? I feel as if words would fail because for the first time in a long time I feel speechless. This book is heart wrenching in the best way." –World of Books

"Coley’s problems aren’t the sort that can be wrapped up neatly with a few hugs and an apologetic conversation. Mindi Scott gives her protagonist resolution, but not necessarily closure, and I found that courageous." -Katy Upperman

"This a book that every teen girl should read.  It's up there with powerful, gut-wrenching books like Speak and Thirteen Reasons Why." –Jen McConnel

"Live Through This is a book that I will not be able to forget. I don't want to either. Coley's story is something that needs to be shared, understood and listened to." –Ginger at GReads!

"This book stands apart from others with similar subject matter. In a way, Scott dances in a gray area of abuse, reminding readers abuse doesn’t always look like abuse, even if is still leaves its mark." -Kari at A Good Addiction 

"This is a very important, very well done book that chills you with its premise." - Jessi at Elliott Review

"This multi-dimensional exploration of Coley’s life makes Live Through This stand out; there is light along with the darkness in Coley’s life. That’s a critical point that distinguishes this book, because Coley is more than what has happened to her, more than the guilt that follows her." -Sarah at Clear Eyes Full Shelves

"I am amazed by Mindi Scott’s storytelling capabilities – I can’t even imagine writing a story like this and still being able to include the beautiful, fun, light moments in such a perfect way." - Tara at Hobbitsies

On the blog: Geeking out IN YOUR FACE over the Star Wars "Machete Order"!

Okay, people! I'm here to spread the joy of the Star Wars Machete Order!

Are you ready for this?

Until recently, when pondering the best order in which to watch the Star Wars films, the only options seemed to be either 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3 or 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Or, you know, some people choose just 4, 5, 6 and leave it at that.

But then I came across this blog post, which offers a very different alternative. And this option? Well, it pretty much blew my mind.

To sum up, the author of the blog suggests watching the movies in the order of 4, 5, 2, 3, 6 and skipping #1 altogether. What this amounts to is: "Two films of Luke’s story, two films of Anakin’s story, then a single film that intertwines and ends both stories."

It's long, but you should absolutely check out the full blog post if you're interested in learning why this viewing order works so well. It's very well-put together and interesting! (Oh, but beware spoilers for the entire series, if you happen to be someone who hasn't yet seen them all and you want to be surprised.) 

After reading about this order, I had to try it. Despite my husband's misgivings about mixing things up in such a strange way (perhaps he had a bad feeling about this!), we watched A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back on Sunday. Then on Tuesday: Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith, and Return of the Jedi. I have to say, I was very pleased with the results. I'm not sure that Dwayne was entirely sold on skipping The Phantom Menace (he thinks that seeing more of Anakin's relationship with his mother onscreen would have be helpful; I think he might have preferred that we try 4, 5, 1, 2, 3, 6), but we both agree with the creator of the Machete Order's overall assessment:

"[W]atching Revenge of the Sith makes Return of the Jedi a better, more effective film." 

And that, for me, equated to a pretty satisfying experience overall.

Now, I can't say that someone who hates the prequel movies with every fiber of their being will appreciate a rewatch, even if it is in this revised order. The romance parts are no less eye-roll inducing than they ever were and the changes/inconsistencies/annoying bits can be very frustrating. I burst out laughing at parts that weren't meant to be funny. I also shouted "WHY?" at my TV/George Lucas a number of times. Dwayne flipped off the TV when Greedo shot first, because seriously. SERIOUSLY. (We're lucky, though, because we have the original trilogy on VHS, so the floaty part at the end of Return of the Jedi doesn't include 22-year-old Anakin . . . if you know what I mean.) But without Episode 1 mucking things up, I really do feel that the 2 and 3 held up, you know, not too badly.

So, do it! Watch the Star Wars saga in Machete Order!

(Not entirely on topic, but another thing that I found interesting is that now having watched every episode of the cartoon, Star Wars: The Clones Wars, the going-ons near the end of Revenge of the Sith were so much more emotional for me this time around. To have spent so many hours with these characters in animated form, and to then be reminded of how things were going to end up for them was actually pretty sad.)