What a weird coincidence.

I woke up on January 30, 2010, feeling like I need to write a book about a girl who was sexually abused in a non-violent way.   I wanted to answer the question some people have of "Why didn't she just tell someone?  Why didn't she make him stop?"  I also wanted to give some peace to those who have had these experiences, blame themselves, and believe that they must have wanted it because their body responded.

Nine days after I started this new book, Oprah had a "Conversation with Child Molesters" on her show.  I found out about this only this morning when I received a response from a therapist whom I'd asked for some insight into a child molester's motivation and thinking process.  Among other resources, she directed me to the three-part video on Oprah's website.  

I watched the entire interview today. It was very, very eerie how one of the stories resembles exactly the dynamic I'm trying to create with my characters.  The similarity is such that people who have watched the show might think I'm ripping the whole thing off!  (Or is that just my paranoia?) 

I'm now reading through the comments section on the site where others are sharing their stories and revealing how much this show is helping them with their own recovery of abuse they've suffered.  For some of them, what they learned from this show is life changing.  It's the first time they really understand what happened to them and how very much it wasn't their fault.  

This is exactly what I wanted to do with my book.   Just now, I had this brief, silly thought that I don't need to write this now that Oprah's said exactly what I'm trying to say.  But I do need to, of course.  I mean, not everyone who needs to see this is going to do so.  And different mediums are effective for different people in different ways.  I'm really glad I watched this, though.  It confirmed what I already knew about a certain type of abuser and helped me understand some of the things that I knew, but didn't know that I knew.

March Madness Writing Challenge. Update.

As you might recall, I've decided to participate in a writing challenge   organized.  My goal in the month of March is to write 25 rough scenes.

This is the seventh day of the challenge and I have written . . . five scenes.  Which means I am pretty much on track to complete my goal.

What I'm finding, though, is that typing the scenes that I'm handwriting is killing my momentum.  When I'm putting it down in the journal, it's usually flowing pretty well, but when I type what I've written, I start getting all picky and frustrated because none of this resembles anything good. 

Yesterday, I read E. Lockhart's interview at Mrs. Magoo Reads.  Something she said is really resonating with me at this moment: 

High standards are the death of creativity. Just write it badly. You can fix it later. Change it completely if need be.

The biggest difference between me and many extremely talented writers I went to college with is that my books are finished, and theirs are not. You write the book. You finish it. Then you make it good.

So, I'm changing my goal in a subtle way.  Instead of aiming for 25 typed scenes (which I'm not sure I ever specified, but that's was what I was envisioning), I'm going to hand-write 25 scenes.  Maybe I'll do more if those ideas come to me.  After they are all written down, then I will start to type them.  And that's, of course, when I'll start trying to make it good.

AMAZON CRAZINESS!

Once a day, I do this very annoying thing where I go to Amazon.com and search for the following: 

Mindi Scott
Freefall Mindi Scott
Freefall by Mindi Scott

Every day, the search results include Batman Returns, Requiem for a Dream, and Mandy Hubbard's Prada & Prejudice.  (Only the last of these makes sense to me; my name is on Mandy's acknowledgments page.)

Just now, I did my usual "Mindi Scott" search first.  And got my usual results mentioned above. 

Then I immediately tried "Freefall Mindi Scott". 

Something very, very different came up:

Shocked, I went back and searched for "Mindi Scott" again.  Batman Returns is still the first item on the list.  But the second is me!  And my book!  Was Amazon right in the midst of adding this at the exact moment I was searching????  

Click here to see the whole glorious page for yourself! 

As you can see, the cover art isn't available at this moment and the description is kind of vague.  But still! My book is on Amazon!  It has ISBNs and is 288 pages!  It's available for pre-order RIGHT NOW!   And for only $8.99! 

March Madness Writing Challenge.

Denise Jaden aka   is helping to organize a March writing challenge.   Check out http://denisejaden.livejournal.com/ for more information!

This challenge can be used in sort of a NaNoWriMo way if one desires, but my personal goals are not related to word count at all.  Instead, I plan to write 25 or more first-draft scenes for my newest WIP.  I figure that my full-length YA novels have around 50 scenes, so this will be half of what I need to finish a first draft. 

I'm not going to write this story chronologically, so in theory, these 25 scenes might end up being the equivalent of a completed first draft  containing a beginning, middle, and end.  Then what I'll need to do for draft 2 is organize, fill in the blanks, etc.

I'm not going to get too far ahead of myself with all this talk, though!  My goal is not to finish a draft.  It is to write 25 (or more) scenes. 

Today, in preparation for the coming month, I'm putting together my schedule and listing all my obligations for work and other stuff, so I can figure out exactly what I'll be doing this month to best prioritize my writing time. 

I'm also making a list of scenes that I anticipate this story needing.  I'm hoping to come up with more than 25 so that when the inspiration for certain scenes isn't there, I'll have lots of others to choose from.

This should be fun!  Maybe.  I hope. . .

Loser whine-fest.

It's been two years since I finished writing FREEFALL, which means it's been two years since I've finished writing any book.  This fact weighs upon me every day of my life.

It isn't like I've spent the past two years doing nothing.  Even when I wasn't doing FREEFALL revisions and such, I'm always working on something or other.  But I never finish those something-or-others. 

Predictably, I abandoned the proposal I was working on for my agent and let him know that it won't be coming any time soon.  (He said he was cool with that.  He said for me to be free and write anything I want right now and not worry about a deadline.)

I have ambitions for my writing.  I mean, yeah, yeah.  Getting paid well and/or getting awards would be swell, of course, but that isn't what I mean.  For every project I start, there is something deep and important (to me), something that I want to get out there to empower lives and broaden perspectives.  Maybe I take that goal too seriously, and that's what makes me choke every time. 

The story I've recently started--above all others--I have to finish this.  This story needs to be told.  I could try to talk myself out of it or convince myself that someone else out there could do it better, but I don't believe that.  I can write this better than anyone.  I feel like I have a responsibility.  It would be irresponsible for me to not write it. 

If I have a purpose in life, it is to write this book.

But, you know what?  I don't know if that having that belief is even enough to make me make myself get it done.  And if it isn't?  There might not be anything that can make me finish another book.  Which really makes me pissed at myself.