Revisions round two.

I got my additional notes on Friday.  Not a big deal really.  A few nitpicks, a few lines to remove, a few things to switch around.  I'm mostly done.  Except...

One comment she had was this: The edits are pretty much more of what I said on the last draft, places where you’ve already shown something so well and then Seth in either narrative or dialogue is saying it as well when it’s stronger to let readers glean it from how it’s already been expressed. Particularly with Seth since he’s a gruff teen guy, the more you can cut along these lines, the better. I’m sure there are still some instances that remain (I’ll freely admit my strength as an editor lies more in conceptual/plot editing than nitty gritty line-editing), so you might want to run it through Dwayne or someone else one last time for an eye just for these spots, but overall, the book is in such good shape, that there’s definitely no need to kill yourself over that.

I have to keep reading that last clause over and over again because seriously.  I did this in the last round.  Clearly I didn't do it well enough, but I did it as well as I could.  I read every line until my head was about to explode.  I cut ruthlessly.  It would seem that I am far beyond being able to distinguish these redundancies because she found about a half dozen more.

My husband doesn't have time to read this.  Even if he did, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be able to find these remaining instances because tedious work like this is not his forte.  He's all about big picture, too.  (He actually laughed really hard when I read the email aloud to him and said, "Me??")  I don't think I know anyone who has time right now to read and offer suggestions on that level.  Or to read it at all!

There is no need to kill myself over this.  There is no need to kill myself over this.

Have I mentioned how glad I'll be to finish with this book FOREVER?

Adventures in Narcotic Pain Relievers.

Wednesday 8am:  Mindi goes to dentist to get crown affixed.  Is told that due to a Situation, an immediate root canal is required.  Spends 4.5 hours between dentist and specialist's office.  Is prescribed Vicodin with instructions to "take one to two pills every four to six hours."

Wednesday 2:30pm:  Mindi takes one Vicodin along with soft/liquid foods.  Continues to experience lots of pain.  Does not feel the least bit stoned.

Wednesday 10pm:  Mindi takes another Vicodin along with soft/liquid foods.  Sleeps rather well and feels kind of floaty.

Thursday 5:30am:    Mindi wakes up, in pain again.  Takes a Vicodin with chocolate pudding and three glasses of water.  Goes back to bed.

Thursday 8:30am:  Mindi is up for the day, checks her email.  Feels like she's going to vomit.  Runs downstairs, lies down on kitchen floor (can't make it to the bathroom), calls for Husband who gives her yogurt and makes a bowl of Cream of Wheat.

Thursday 10:30am:  Feeling considerably better as the dizziness dissipates, but not better with the pain, Mindi takes half a Vicodin.  Husband drops her off downtown at the office where she fills in for a coworker.

Thursday 2:30pm:  Mindi needs to leave to catch a bus to work for another coworker at a different location, but she is dizzy again.  Feels like she's spinning.  She rushes to the bathroom and lies on the floor while waiting for nausea to pass. Two coworkers walk in and discover her there.  They start asking her all sorts of questions.  She insists that she's fine, just dizzy.  When the feeling has passed well enough that she can stand again, she leaves the bathroom, only to see six coworkers (including the previously mentioned two) standing in a group outside the bathroom, speaking quietly to one another. 

Thursday 2:45pm:  Mindi goes back to her seat and puts her head on her desk.  She feels frustrated and trapped.  There is no way she can walk anywhere, not without risking falling to the floor and/or vomiting.  There is nowhere she can lie down unless she wants to cause another scene.  She cannot ride the bus, much less walk all the way to the bus tunnel.  Finally, she calls to have her husband pick her up.  Mindi's manager offers to work Mindi's second part of her shift at the clinic because there is no one else available.  Two members of the HR department come down to speak with Mindi (obviously having been notified of The Bathroom Incident by someone), but Manager intercepts them and lets them know that Mindi is getting a ride and will be leaving soon.  Mindi starts feeling slightly less dizzy and sick, but extremely annoyed.

Thursday 3:30pm:  Husband arrives at the office.  Manager walks Mindi down to meet him.  During the drive home, Mindi finds that she feels almost normal again and opts to work her coworker's shift after all.  Fabulous Husband stays and helps her out for the next 4.5 hours.  Then they go home.

...That's mostly where the story ends.  Mindi did not take another Vicodin after that half tablet she took Thursday morning.  For a while, she was taking occasional doses of acetaminophen and ibuprofen (at the suggestion of a nurse), but switched to straight ibuprofen because (less extreme) dizziness and nausea still occurred with that combination.  Mindi finds it incredibly irritating that she didn't enjoy her Vicodin experience in the least. 

And now, she will discontinue writing about herself in the third person

An open letter to Jared Leto.

Dear Jared Leto,

I was at Deck the Hall Ball last night. As I'm sure you recall, you were there, too. Since this is now the second time I've seen your band perform live, I thought it might be a good idea to check in with you and give you the Person In the Crowd perspective. You might find it really beneficial as you continue your tour.

First off, you've had some wonderful accomplishments with 30 Seconds to Mars! You guys have been doing this for over a decade, and now have three records out. I think it's cool that you and your brother are writing songs, performing, and living your dreams and all that. Seriously. Go you!

Now, I think it would be good to remind you that part of why music lovers come to concerts is because they like to hear/see/feel the artists perform their songs. This includes the singing part of it. Contrary to what someone must have told you at some point, we don't want to have to sing for you. Especially not for the first few songs in your set. What we want is for you to come out, rock our faces off (and not just talk about rocking our faces off; actually do it) and sing your songs for us. I think you'll find that if you do your part with those things, the audience will react in a way you'll find pleasing, and we'll start to sing without your prompting!

And while I'm on the subject of prompting the audience, the same thing goes for your constant requests that we clap our hands. Or put our hands in the air. Or wave our hands around. Or arrange our fingers in the shape of--what was that?--a "w"? Or jump up and down. The non-stop demands on the audience can make bands look kind of arrogant, insecure, or a bad combination of both. See, but if you're doing your job--which is to play your music, sing your songs, and do that rocking thing--you'll find that you won't ever need to verbally prompt the crowd to react. We won't be able to stop ourselves.

Hey, Jared, did you happen to catch any of Muse's performance after you? Those guys never once asked for clapping or jumping. But, guess what? People did it anyway. Seriously, check out a Muse show or DVD of a live performance or something, do what they do, and you will be SO on the right track.

Okay. I have just one more teeny, tiny thing. When you constantly say stuff like, "This is the most [KOMO 4]ing insane crowd we've ever played for!" "You guys are so [KOMO 4]ing awesome!" and the like," it starts to feel... a little insincere. You'd be better off keeping that stuff to a minimum. Thank us for coming. Thank the radio station for having you. Just don't go overboard on the exaggerations where you use the word "most." Because when you lie to us and we know you're lying? That's when you lose us just a little bit more.

I'm on your side, Jared. I really am. I freely admit that a big part of why I'm on your side is because you were Jordan Catalano once upon a time. And because I liked the way you sang "I Wanna Be Sedated" and "I Call Her Red." And because your eyes are very, very pretty. But also, my husband likes 30 Seconds to Mars. He thinks Shannon is a very talented drummer and that you have a cool voice and a lot of range for a guy. Together, we want you to succeed. We want you to play live shows that actually are awesome instead of shows where you tell the audience it's awesome when it's really kind of... not. You know what I mean?

That acoustic song you played last night wasn't rocking (and that's totally fine), but it was actually a good, good sign as far as I was concerned. You sang all the words, you didn't ask the audience to participate (too many times), and most of all, it felt genuine. Keep it up, Jared, and you can turn things around. I absolutely believe that.

"Show don't tell" is advice that is often given to writers to help us hone our craft. I think it is entirely applicable to you as well, and I hope you'll take it.

All my best,

Mindi Scott

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Revisions (mostly) accepted.

Liesa sent Jim and me this in an email about 20 minutes ago: Hey guys,

Just wanted to let you know that I finished reading the revision, and Mindi, you NAILED that ending. I love those new scenes! Really shows us how Seth hits that wall and gets the wake up call.

I have just a few remaining notes and tiny edits which I’ll send along hopefully by the end of this week, but it’s small stuff, I think it’s in great shape!

Big exhales and all that stuff.

Teaser (sort of) Tuesday.

I've been going through the journal I keep for BEFORE 18 or JAY, KAE & ELLE, or whatever this is going to be called. I found this page and LOLed at how random it is:

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MicrosoftInternetExplorer4

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I really don’t think there is anything worse than having your mom throw the wrapper of a cola-flavored condom and at you while screaming, “Don’t you know that rubbers don’t work?”

Actually, there is one thing worse, and it’s this moment.

TAKE 2 8/20/09

Last month, my mom was moving my clothes to the dryer when she found the condom wrapper.

Sean is addicted to

Otter Pops?