Tenth-Grade Yearbook.

I was helping my sister go through some things over the weekend and found my yearbook from Sophomore year (1992-1993) in her closet. 

I hadn't seen this book in at least eleven years, since that's how long it's been since I lived with my sister.  And while I've never forgotten how my boyfriend at that time and I felt about each other, I did forget about the message he wrote in my yearbook for me. 

He had small handwriting and used the entire inside-cover page to pen what is most likely the longest, most in-depth love letter I've ever received. In it, the phrase "I love you" (and also, "I ♥ U") appear twenty-two times.  He described when he really realized he loved me, listed off specific things about me that he loved, and talked about the dismalness of the immediate future of our relationship. (I was moving to a town fifty miles away that coming June, we were both too young to drive, and home internet and free long-distance calling weren't common like they are now.  Not to mention that his mother would rarely allow him to see me because she thought we were too young.)  He also jokingly (but still alarmingly) threatened what he was going to do to me if I went out with someone else at my new school, and described what it was going to be like after we survived the next three years apart and got married when he turned eighteen.  (I'm three months older.)

The marriage part never happened.  In fact, I broke up with him about six months after I moved.  Not because I didn't care about him anymore, but because having a boyfriend I could never see was depressing and just utterly impossible. 

There were a couple of times when we could have gotten back together after we got our driver's licenses when we were seventeen, and especially when we were both seventeen going on eighteen and he went to a boarding school which was only about a mile from my house.  The timing was never right, though.  And probably, we weren't either, for various reasons.

But, wow.  Re-reading his note to me reminded me that  I really want to make sure I do justice to any and all teenager-in-love scenes/stories/subplots that I write.  We were only fifteen years old, but we were each other's everything during that time.  Maybe to the adults in our world we were "just kids" who didn't have a clue about love, but we didn't agree with that notion. 

Looking back on it, I still don't agree.

IxNay on the OckedRay.

I still don't have a title.  My agent presented my case for one in particular, but it was a "no" because "it connects TOO strongly with the rock music/musician idea that can so easily veer into high cheese in teen fiction. Honestly, one of the things we all loved here about Mindi’s book was that it manages to portray a character who’s “in a band” without it coming off as cheesy and unrealistic at all in the story, but as a title in itself, it carries too much of that risk."

From the new list I sent yesterday, they like:

SMASHED, but without the -ed = SMASH
SCRATCH
FREEFALL

I can handle the second two, but SMASH makes me think of HULK, SMASH.   And, no.  Just... no.

Also, I like SCRATCH because it's a short piece of the most recent title.  But what are the other meanings and layers for it?  All I think of is playing pool.

I'm getting pretty burned out on this.

My book. It is untitled.

My agent followed up with my editor again to see whether a title decision has been made.  The answer is "no."

Here's what she had to say to my agent about it:

First, about title, Jen Klonsky and I have been batting these around yesterday and today, and the tough thing is, nothing is feeling exactly perfect, but at the same time, Mindi sent SO many options that we feel bad going back to her without picking one from the list!

We did think about the word “Wasted” but worried it might be a tough sell at some channels to have the title itself overtly referencing alcohol like that.

Then we wondered if it would be a problem to use Wrecked, since it’s been a couple years since the E.R. Frank teen book by that name. But I think it really could get confusing within S&S to have another Pulse title with that name.

Jen, like me, likes “Live Through This” but we’re both having trouble fully separating from the song enough to be sure how a teen would view that name who has no knowledge of Hole.

We know it needs to have edge, be something a guy could pick up as well as girls, one or two words is ideal for this, and something very much like “Wrecked” since it has so many wonderful layers of meaning.

Do you think Mindi would shoot us if we told her those were our thoughts but we still weren’t sold on one specific title from that list, and tried to brainstorm further? I feel so bad! Don’t know why the title on this one has been so darn challenging.

I wrote back saying that I won't shoot anyone.  I don't really care about the title at this point; I just want to have one!  (I didn't say that part.)  I don't really know what else I can do to help with this.  Another list from me is not necessarily going to be useful, particularly since I actually prefer full phrases.  (All the ones she did mention here came from my list, by the way.)

It seems like they're just waiting for the right word to materialize.  One that has edge, that would interest guys and girls, and that has layers of meaning.

Huh.

Contract and stuff.

In case you wondered, I haven't abandoned this journal!  I just haven't been online much at all lately. 

Seattle had its hottest day in all of recorded history last week.  My computer dwells in my upstairs office where it's even hotter than the rest of the house and it doesn't appreciate this weather.  So, I've been giving it a break.  To keep occupied, my husband and I have been spending a lot of time on our boat.  And on Sunday, we had a misadventure in disc golf.

Regarding my writing, a couple of cool things happened.  My agent was in Seattle for a conference, so I got to meet him for the first time.  He took me and a few clients to see CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, the musical, and then hung out downtown late into the night.   Sadly, to my knowledge, there is no photographic evidence that this happened.  You'll have to take my word for it. 

Also, my contract arrived!  I almost forgot to get a picture of this historic event.  But here's me at work, signing the final set while my coworker snaps a photo with my camera phone.  Yay!

Dress opinion needed!

Would this dress be appropriate for an October East Coast wedding (Baltimore)? I believe it will take place in the afternoon.