Attention! Querying is a waste of your time, people! (Ha!)

I've been hanging out online for years at a (non-writing-related) forum.  Yesterday, I created a poll asking whether I should include profanity in my query letter.  (I was concerned about how the first sentence in my latest version would come across to agents:  If Seth McCoy had asked his Magic 8-Ball whether he'd ever get his shit together, the answer would have been: Very doubtful.)  It isn't that I think the people who frequent that message board are experts or anything.  Mostly, I was just bored and hoping to get some fresh perspectives on the issue.

One of the guys responded with this:

Some quick advice. I've worked in a talent/literary agency and 9 times out of 10, the query letter will get you nowhere. Especially when it just starts out with the description. It's unfortunate, but the sad truth is that it's pretty much a waste of time and money.

The one time we actually requested the writer send us his script was when he wrote possibly the most clever letter I had seen. He basically started by explaining that this screenplay was autobiographical and explained how the plot elements lined up with his life. Only, there were asterisks and footnotes that explained that he was totally making all that up.

Yeah, I know that doesn't sound too interesting, but that's just because I can't remember the actual note. His execution was great.

Common sense would have you believe that sending a letter to a boutique/smaller agency would have better results, but frankly, they're harder to get to, as they really only sign the money-makers that can keep their company afloat.

What you should do is find a way to get a referral from another manager or agent -- be it a friend, an acquaintance through someone you know, or just an agent who wasn't able to take you on, but knows someone who could/should. That's how you'll stand out over the other dozens of query letters they'll get daily. And also, it gets past the 'red tape' that a lot of agencies don't accept unsolicited material.

I worked quite extensively with the literary agents, so if you have any questions, please ask. But my suggestion is to hold off on sending them out for now. Save your money and time and put it towards networking and finding a contact to get you in the door. 

Another poster (a writer) sent me a private message saying he absolutely disagrees with the other guy's advice, but he didn't want to start an argument in the thread.   So, I responded on the board with my polite disagreement that querying is a waste of time.  Yeah, referrals could very well be the best way to get your work seen, but seriously, I've seen SO MANY YA writers get representation through querying and being discovered in the slush pile.  Haven't I?  

Thoughts?

E-mail.

Like most people, I have a bunch of e-mail accounts:  one for work, one for most of my personal corrospondence which I check all day long (a Yahoo account), a random one that I rarely use and only check every few days (a G-mail account), and my original email account for old friends that also doubles as a junk e-mail for when I am required to give an email address for something (a Hotmail account).

I recently set up a Comcast account using my first and last names in the address with the intention of using it for writing correspondence only.  All agent queries would come from this account.  Therefore, all agent responses would come to this account as well.  I've been reluctant to start using it, though, because I've never had a Comcast account.  I'm not sure whether I can trust it.  With Hotmail, I know to expect utter unreliablity all the time.  With Yahoo, I expect to receive most of my emails in a timely manner, but there are a small percentage that appear days later than they were sent.

Does anyone have experience with the Comcast email service?  Can I trust it with all these important messages about my career?  Or would I be better off sticking with Yahoo or Gmail for this?

Query letter - Take 2!

 My revised query letter writing wasn't going well, so the amazing 

mandywriter

  swooped in to save the day again.  Hooray!!!   She came up with a new spin that I quite like, so I went from there, changing some words and phrases here and there.   This version has gotten positive responses from the friends whom I've run it past so far.  If I'm feeling enough confident about it on Tuesday, I'll probably send out a new round of queries soon.  

If any of you feel like reading and nit-picking, I'll appreciate the help!

New version:

If Seth McCoy had asked his Magic 8-Ball whether he’d ever get his shit together, the answer would have been: Very doubtful.  Or maybe:  Don’t count on it.  For too long, Seth’s focus was on getting wasted with his band—a pastime that contributed to his reputation as a slacker, a jerk, and an all-out loser.  But there’s one thing the Magic 8-ball didn’t predict: Seth’s close friend dying after a night of partying.  

Scared sober, Seth finally notices a girl who’s been there all along: sweet, beautiful, broken Rosetta.  She’s a brainiac from Rich Bitch Hill, but she doesn’t judge Seth for who he’s been.  Instead, she challenges him to become the person he wants to be—the person no one else sees.  Seth and Rosetta confide in each other, and are comforted to discover parallels in the troubled pasts they’re struggling to leave behind.  Still, when it comes to their relationship, Seth can’t help thinking:  Outlook not so good.

Straddling the line between literary and commercial, THE FAKE MCCOY is a YA novel about defying expectations and breaking free of the words that define you.  At 74,000 words, it will appeal to readers of John Green or Laurie Halse Anderson.

The previous version of the pitch, in case you're curious...

No one in Seth McCoy’s high school believes he’s ever going get out of Riverside Trailer Park. For years, he’s skated by with bad grades while focusing instead on his band—The Real McCoys—and drinking heavily to cope with his stage fright.  But when his friend Isaac dies—a tragedy Seth is sure he could have prevented—he’s scared sober.  

However staying that way is tougher than Seth could have imagined.  His band is invited to tour the country, and he has to choose between sobriety and music.  To the shock of his friends, he picks sobriety.  It isn’t a single, finite choice; it’s a constant one that gets harder every day as he confronts his own part in Isaac’s death.   

In THE FAKE MCCOY, Seth wants to change the way people see him—especially the girl he’s fallen for from the “right” side of town—but first he has to change the way he sees himself.  Straddling the line between literary and commercial, THE FAKE MCCOY is 74,000 words and will appeal to readers of John Green or Laurie Halse Anderson.

Weird query re-writing observation.

I still haven't been doing any actual writing (or even physical outlining) for my new project, but I'm thinking thoughts.  Many thoughts!

The thing that's holding me back at the moment is that I'm trying to write a new query letter. I really love the one 

mandywriter

 put together for me, but I'm not getting as many partial requests from it as I would have liked.  So, I'm thinking it might be a good idea to try a new angle to see if it will earn me some more agent interest when I'm ready to send out some more.  

I have PAGES of partial pitches, half-thoughts, and randomness that I've been working on.  But still no obvious pitch angle.  And no query letter!  

One thing I tried really hard with when I made changes to Mandy's query and to the outline I wrote, was keeping the tone similar to the story and the vocabualary similar to Seth's.  (Which, I don't even know if that's the best or recommended way to do it.)   But after seven weeks of not being in his head, my writing is sounding like me again.  It's kind of a relief, knowing I am capable of getting away from him, but annoying since I'm trying to accomplish something here!

Anyway, if I ever come up with something feels like a halfway decent pitch, I might post it in here to get the opinions of y'all.  How I wish that day would come soon!  Anybody who's read the story want to tell me what it's about?  ;-)

Yay! A request!!!!!

I received an e-mail request for my full manuscript this morning! My initial contact with this particular agent was because of a referral (she isn't accepting queries right now), but I pasted the first fifteen pages at the end of my note so that she could see if she liked the writing. And... she did!

She admitted that her reading pile is out of control and she might not even get to mine until summer(!), but she also said to let her know if I get an offer for representation in the meantime and she will then bump mine up immediately and see about "throwing her hat in the ring" as well.

Good stuff then.