A gratuitous discussion!

I hear the word "gratuitous" bandied around a lot in discussions of YA literature. 

Gratuitous sex scenes.

Gratuitous violence.

Gratuitous language.

People are opposed to seeing ALL THIS GRATUITOUSNESS in books and it makes them mad and and disgusted and possibly not want to read the author who uses said gratuitousness ever again, etc, etc, etc.

Pardon me while I try to grasp what this even means. 

My dear friend Merriam-Webster defines "gratuitous" thusly:

1 a : given unearned or without recompense b : not involving a return benefit, compensation, or consideration c : costing nothing : free

2: not called for by the circumstances : unwarranted <gratuitous insolence> <a gratuitous assumption>

I (gratuitously) assume that the second meaning is the one that gets everyone all riled up and making (sometimes) vague references. 

Not called for by the circumstances.  Unwarranted.

So what exactly is "gratuitous language"?  I've heard people say it's when the author could have gotten their point across without using those terms, but chose not to.  (Um, what?)  Or!  When it's used only for shock value.

. . . And now I am sitting here, racking my brain trying to think of ONE SINGLE BOOK I've read in my life where an excellent writer had nothing better to do to spice things up than to throw in some profanity or whatever.  Does this really happen?  And if yes, I beg you to leave me a comment here or email me with specific examples.  Because I really, really, really want to see this for myself.

From what I've observed, it seems to me that most often when someone calls something gratuitous, what they really mean is that they don't like it.

If that were the true definition, here are some things that I would find gratuitous in the world:

1. The smell and sight of meat, especially bacon. (Damn your gratuitous bacon frying!)
2. Cats that urinate in places other than their litter boxes or the great outdoors.
3. Checkstands that have only white or orange Tic-Tacs when clearly the red ones are the best.
4. The End (a Seattle radio station) playing Sublime on what seems to be an hourly rotation.
5. People who make blanket statements that profanity in writing is lazy, inappropriate, and/or gratuitous.

Anyway.  My point is.  Gratuitous.  You keep using this word.  I do not think it means what you think it means. 

And also?  If something jumps out at you while you're reading, if it feels "gratuitous," is it really?  Or it is perhaps a) not to your taste or b) really poor writing?

Hmmm.

Nine years.

Today is Dwayne's and my nine-year wedding anniversary.  We were married in Las Vegas exactly three days before 9/11. 

He is working a very long day today, so we might see each other for only, like, a half an hour before he has to go to bed or something.  Or maybe not at all.  Boo!

Here are the special text messages that we shared in honor of this day:

Me to Dwayne (at 9:45am):  Nine years ago right now, a minister was walking in on me in the bathroom!

Dwayne to me (at 2pm):  At this time nine years ago, we were having our first married argument!

Ah, memories.

Personalized with Names.

Every tourist shop has them.  Racks and racks and racks of key chains, stickers, shot glasses, jewelry, and such with common names printed or engraved upon them.  For example, you can get a "Lindsey" bracelet (or even a "Lindsay" bracelet).  You can get a "Robert's Room" sign.  You can get "Ella" refrigerator magnets.  You can get "Linda" pens.

You know what you can't get? 

Any of those items with "Mindi" on them.  In all my life, I've found just ONE thing that had my name spelled correctly.  (Most often, they don't have my name spelled incorrectly, either.)  It was a little carved wooden thingy that I got at Disneyland when I was ten that took too many falls from my top bunk and was broken and re-glued and broken and re-glued and is now gone forever.

When my mom takes a vacation, she likes to pick up little things for us kids (and grandkid).  I've always received the name-free stuff.  Until this time!

*

My actual words after my stepdad handed this to me yesterday was, "You guys are bizarre!"

But actually, it's kind of cool.  And very sweet.  If only my mom had thought to pick up a "Rosetta" heart to go with it!

Oh.  

Right. 

*For those who don't know, Seth is the name of the narrator in FREEFALL, my novel which is coming out in less than a month.

AUTHOR INTERVIEW: Steve Brezenoff

Steve Brezenoff is the author of The Absolute Value of -1, a YA realistic novel released by Carolrhoda Lab on September 1, 2010.

The absolute value of any number, positive or negative, is its distance from zero: |-1| = 1 .

Noah, Lily, and Simon have been a trio forever. But as they enter high school, their relationships shift and their world starts to fall apart. Privately, each is dealing with a family crisis—divorce, abuse, and a parent’s illness. Yet as they try to escape the pain and reach out for the connections they once counted on, they slip—like soap in a shower. Noah’s got it bad for Lily, but he knows too well Lily sees only Simon. Simon is indifferent, suddenly inscrutable to his friends. All stand alone in their heartache and grief.

In his luminous YA novel, Steve Brezenoff explores the changing value of relationships as the characters realize that the distances between them are far greater than they knew.

And now for the Magic 8 questions!

1. At age eight, what did you want to be when you grew up? And at age eighteen? And while you’re at it, what about at age twenty-eight?

Eight: a chef. I was endlessly whipping up terrible masterpieces in the kitchen
Eighteen: an English teacher, because I was certain I’d never succeed as a writer
Twenty-eight: a music journalist, and I had a little success. Very little.

2. Which Breakfast-Club-style label would have best fit your teenage self?

Burnout Band-geek?!

3. What are some of your superstitions and/or phobias?

This is kind of embarrassing, but when I was much younger—like maybe 8—I started sleeping with the blankets over my head to prevent vampire attacks during the night. I STILL DO THIS.

4. Without giving away too much from your book, which character or scene are you the most pleased about having created, and why?

I’m most proud of Lily. I never thought I’d be able to give a female character a good voice, but I think Lily comes across as quite real. Several girls and women have read |-1| already, and most really connected with her. That makes me feel pretty good.

5. Was there any certain music that inspired you while you were writing this book, or is there a song that could serve as your protagonist’s theme song?

There are three protagonists here, and I actually know just which songs they all get as their themes. Lily gets “Paperdoll” by Kittie; Noah gets “Passin’ Me By” by the Pharcyde; and Simon gets “He Feels Bad” by Helmet. What can I say? The 90s were a good musical decade.

6. What’s up next for you as a writer?

I’m this close to selling my second novel, about which I will say very little: it’s more realistic fiction, this time in Brooklyn and starring a couple of runaways.

7. And, now, the most important question of all: Beatles or Elvis? Please support your answer. ;-)

Elvis Costello? No? In that case, the Beatles, but I’d love a third choice.

8. Okay, your turn. Do you have a question you’d like me to ask my Magic 8-Ball on your behalf? (I’m telling you, this thing is scarily accurate! Well, except for when it’s lying.)

Will we ever have a bigger house??

As usual, the camera on my Blackberry is taking TERRIBLE pictures.  But!  The good news, in case you can't read it, is that the answer is, "As I see it yes." 

Hooray!!!!!  Thank you so much, Steve!

And, everyone else, if you love edgy YA (like I do!), do check out THE ABSOLUTE VALUE OF -1.  I got a chance to read it already and I absolutely loved the three-narrator structure.  Steven does a fabulous job with voice and authentic teen dialogue and point of view! 

Wait!  One more thing!  Here's the book trailer:

30 Days 'til Freefall.

That Book I Wrote That One Time will be coming out exactly one month from today.  Hooray!

The last week of September, Kari and Kelsey of Teen Book Scene have organized a Book Trailer Tour where I will finally get to reveal the Freefall book trailer.  They've also set up a blog tour for the first two weeks in October with interviews, guest blogs, a deleted scene, contests to win finished copies of Freefall, and much, much more.  It should be fun!

But for today,  here is an inteview with me at the Truth Be Told blog.  There is a Freefall swag pack prize for one lucky (yes, lucky!) commenter.  Please check it out!

Also, Princess Bookie is hosting a contest where artistic types can take a stab at recreating the cover for Freefall and there is room for more entrants!  Recreate a Cover Contest. 

Have a great rest of your weekend, everyone!