Super-locked. I'm stuck on a scene I'm revising, so I went back through the ms to scan through parts I've already changed. From what I'm reading, I'm actually. . . not sure if Seth is an alcoholic anymore.
The stage fright used to be tied to the drinking in Seth's mind like this: I've always been out of control with my drinking, but I don't want to drink anymore because that's what killed Isaac and I don't want to die---> I can't perform onstage without getting wasted; it's just not possible ---> I fell off the wagon when I played that first show after Isaac died and it was one of the worst nights of my life ---> I'm not going to go on tour/play shows ever again because if I try, I'll start drinking again and I'll be a hopeless failure forever and ever.
And now, it seems to be more like this: I used to get a little buzzed to deal with my stage fright ---> After Isaac died, I started drinking all the time to get my mind off of everything ---> For the first show after Isaac's death, I got trashed beyond belief, and it was an embarrassing, miserable disaster ---> I'm getting sick of always feeling like this; I don't want to spend all my time alternating between wasted and hung over anymore ---> I don't think I have it in me to perform anymore, either.
I think there was more urgency in the first version, but the second version is probably 1) more realistic and 2) closer to what Liesa/Pulse wants to see. I'll have to see how it feels when I'm completely done to get a better idea.