Top Three Traumatic Events Today

3.  My doctor cut out a chunk of my cervix* and then showed me the pieces floating in a little lab jar.

2.  After being a vegetarian almost fifteen years and not having had beef for over eighteen years, I accidentally chewed and swallowed a full bite of a beef** burrito.  

1.  I learned that when my husband was in high school, he used the word "Dawg" in conversation with as much frequency as Antwon Tanner (Skills) on ONE TREE HILL does***. 

* I'm fine, really.  It sounds worse than it is.

**It was supposed to have been a bean burrito.

***Meaning, several times in every conversation.  Like: "Hey listen, dawg."