got an idea from to post first lines of a work and show how it changed from the current version. I couldn't even remember my original first line, and I assumed I'd deleted that draft. Not so! Hooray!
*The original first line for THE FAKE MCCOY written September 9, 2006:
I saw a movie once where this guy finds out his mom is having an affair with one of his best friends. It’s great comic fun. He gets pissed off and makes such an ass of himself that the viewers all root for the unlikely couple instead.
It was a lot funnier in the movie than it was in my hallway.
*****
*The current first line for THE FAKE MCCOY written June 2007:
Scratchy sheets were twisted around my legs, a lumpy pillow was tucked under my head, and some damned annoying mattress spring poked into my side. Yeah, I was definitely at home in the bed where I wake up every day. The screwed up part is I had no clue how I’d gotten there.
I kind of think the first one is more attention-grabbing, but I dropped that storyline whichs means it doesn't fit anymore. This was fun though, seeing how it changed. :-)
I guess the thing I try to do with my opening lines is get readers right into the character's voice. In some ways, it is about what is being said, but more important to me is how it's said. (And now, having said that, my original version uses the words "unlikely couple." I now know that Seth wouldn't have phrased it that way.)