I'm working on my first few chapters. Again. Still. Whatever.
In a page over half-way through chapter one, I just added a scene where some jerk grabs Seth's arm and says something threatening. Seth's response: "Fuck off."
I can't think of anything more geniune he would say. He hates this guy. He isn't going to be all, "Screw you!" or something G-rated. That's fine. I don't think anyone will be thrown by it. (Except the people who would have been thrown by it anyway.)
The problem is, a few pages later, in a section I wrote yesterday in chapter two, Seth is alone, outside, being reflective. He thinks: Pretty much everything is better on the Hill than in the Valley. Even the fucking stars are brighter.
At the time I wrote it, it was the first time the word "fuck" showed up in the draft. I thought it was perfect that way because that one word shows his bitterness better than any other word could. Now, with him saying it in a moment of anger a few pages prior, it loses it's impact here and goes from seeming perfect to gratuitous.