Synopsis. Pass #2.

I'm feeling a little better about this whole synopsis thing. This revision sounds more like the tone and wording in the manuscript instead of like a combination of Seth and me. I tried to play up the Rosetta love stuff while subtly adding to the economic/social class issue for a little more tension.  I'm having a hard time making the sentences flow and transition, but it's getting better.  My punctuation is still a disaster, I'm sure.  :-) 

The Fake McCoy

 

The “trailer trash” label sixteen-year-old SETH MCCOY gets from assholes like CARR sucks. But Seth agrees that he really does have only one thing going for him: he can play the hell out of a bass. Getting wasted before gigs was Seth’s way of keeping his stage fright in check. In fact, alcohol was his way of coping with everything shitty in his life. But finding his friend, ISAAC, dead after a night of partying two months ago caused Seth to give up drinking. 

 

Now, Seth’s band—The Real McCoys—is being given an amazing opportunity to tour as an opening act. The rest of the guys are stoked, but Seth panics.   Even though he hates letting everyone down, he bails—quitting the band is his only shot at staying sober—leaving the others scrambling to find a new bassist.

 

Soon after, XANDER from school asks Seth to join his band. Seth isn’t sure he’s ready, but these dudes are laid back and seem to be in no hurry to do the live gig thing. A no-pressure music project is what Seth needs right now, so he agrees to play with them.

 

In the meantime, Seth gets stuck on a school project with the girl Carr wants, ROSETTA.  Seth and Rosetta couldn’t be more different. Rosetta lives on Rich Bitch Hill; Seth’s from Riverside Trailer Park. She hopes to play professional golf someday; he thinks of golf as something to watch on TV when he needs a quick insomnia remedy. She’s a brainiac; his report card has more ‘Ds’ than a Victoria’s Secret model’s lingerie drawer. But it doesn’t take long for them to see they have something in common after all: they both have intense guilt. Seth blames himself for Isaac suffocating on puke; he didn’t even think to turn Isaac over when he passed out on his back. Rosetta holds herself responsible for the crash that killed her parents because she was behind the wheel and didn’t react quickly enough to avoid the collision. 

 

When Xander books a local gig, Seth confides in Rosetta and asks in all seriousness whether he should give up his new band or his sobriety. She believes he can keep both. He’s surprised and touched by her confidence in him and, while they work together to overcome their fears, Seth and Rosetta fall for each other.  Her friends don’t get it, but Seth and Rosetta don’t care—until Carr, in his jealousy, leads Rosetta to believe that Seth betrayed her. Pissed and confused with Rosetta wanting nothing to do with him, Seth goes after Carr for a fight that’s been a long time coming. It ends with Seth getting an ass kicking and a five-day suspension from school. 

 

Losing Rosetta is like losing everything. Seth deals by swiping booze and getting hammered. As he’s on his knees, puking in the very spot where Isaac died, he has a moment of clarity. This definitely isn’t what he wants to do with his life or the person he wants to be. After sobering up, he goes to Xander and the guys and talks to them about his stage fright. They are supportive and come up with chemical-free ideas to help Seth perform with less anxiety.  Later, he heads to a party, hoping to meet up with Rosetta so they can talk. Instead, he finds Carr passed out on the floor. Seth starts to leave, but goes back and turns Carr onto his side.

 

On the night of the gig, Seth is onstage, nervous as hell, but ready to do this. He sees Rosetta smiling up at him in the crowd. After everything, she still came to see him. Seth smiles back, sure now that they’ll be able to work things out. And then he starts to play.

Synopsis.

I've written my first one-page synopsis for THE FAKE MCCOY. It's the first one-page synopsis I've written in my life, in fact.  (Previous attempts were 1.5 pages or more.)

It's the weirdest thing. This sheet of paper here sums up my story sort of, but it leaves out most of the story.  I kind of hate it that most of the major characters don't even get mentioned!

If anyone is willing to read and offer feedback, I will appreciate it.  I'm not looking for grammar stuff or even sentence smoothing ideas at this point.  This is my first pass and I'm not even sure if this is the angle I want to take with it.  This makes it look like The Story of a Boy Who Quits Drinking.  Which, it is.  But there is much more than that.  But that stuff doesn't fit on one page!   I'll probably try to make the next draft "voicier" if I decide to keep this.

Please let me know if you find holes, confusing parts, extraneous stuff, etc.  Thanks in advance!

Edit:  Also, would it be better if Carr isn't mentioned until paragraph 5?  I added his name into earlier parts so he wouldn't seem to come out of nowhere, but now I'm wondering if that's just silly.

The Fake McCoy

 

Sixteen-year-old SETH MCCOY doesn’t care much for the “trailer trash” label he gets from people like CARR, but he does agree that he has only one thing going for him: he can play the hell out of a bass. Getting drunk before every gig with The Real McCoys used to help Seth keep his stage fright in check and, in fact, was his way of coping with everything shitty in his life. But finding his friend, ISAAC, dead after a night of partying led Seth to give up alcohol. 

 

It’s been two months.  Seth's band is getting more recognition and booking decent shows, but he's struggling. When his brother—the front man—announces that they’ve been offered an opening slot on a tour, Seth’s reaction is to panic rather than get excited. He hates letting everyone down now that they’ve come this far, but he feels that quitting the band is his only shot at staying sober. Giving little explanation, he leaves them scrambling to find a new bassist.

 

When XANDER from school asks Seth to join his band a short time later, Seth isn’t sure he wants to get involved in a new project. But these guys—although skilled musicians—are inexperienced, laid back, and seem to be in no hurry to play live shows. That is exactly what Seth needs right now, so he agrees to play with them.

 

Meanwhile, Seth starts spending time with a girl whom Carr is infatuated with, ROSETTA. Seth and Rosetta seem as different as two people can be. She lives on Rich Bitch Hill; he’s from Riverside Trailer Park.   She’s a brainiac; his report card has more ‘Ds’ than a Victoria Secret model’s lingerie drawer. But as they start confiding in each other, they discover they are both suffering from intense guilt. Seth, because he saw Isaac passed out on his back that night, but didn’t think to turn him on his side which resulted in Isaac suffocating on puke and dying. Rosetta, because she was driving when a drunk driver crashed into her car and killed her parents. She’s been diagnosed with motorphobia and hasn’t ridden in a motor vehicle since the accident. 

 

When Xander books a gig in town, Seth freaks and asks Rosetta in all seriousness whether he should give up the band or the sobriety. She tells him she believes he can keep both.  As Seth and Rosetta make plans to overcome their fears together, they fall for each other.  But then jealous Carr leads Rosetta to believe that Seth betrayed her trust. Seth confronts Carr and gets a black eye and a five-day suspension from school. Having lost Rosetta and the fight, Seth gets drunk. As he’s on the ground, puking in the very spot where Isaac died, he has a moment of clarity: this isn’t what he wants to be doing with his life. This isn’t who he wants to be.

 

After sobering up, Seth goes to Xander and the guys and tells them about his stage fright. They are supportive and try to work out a way that Seth can perform with less anxiety.  Later, Seth goes to a party, hoping to find Rosetta so they can fix things. Instead, he finds Carr, passed out on the floor. Seth starts to walk away, but then goes back and turns Carr onto his side.

 

At the gig, Seth gets onstage, nervous as hell, but ready to do this. He sees Rosetta in the crowd, smiling up at him. After everything, she still came to support him. Seth smiles back at her, feeling hopeful that they’ll be able to work it out. And then he starts to play.  

Formatting

I'm putting together my pages for my manuscript consultation at the SCBWI conference. The instructions say: Please use standard manuscript format typed double-spaced using standard size (12 pt) font in Times or Arial. Be sure that the first page of your manuscript includes the manuscript title, genre, author's name, address, phone number, and email address. If you are unsure of standard manuscript formatting, please refer to the CHILDREN'S WRITER'S & ILLUSTRATOR'S MARKET book or to the Member-only section of www.scbwi.org.

I thought I knew how to format a manuscript. My idea of how to format came from instructions and workshops from classes and conferences in the past: I use one-inch margins all the way around, double spacing, and 12 pt font. I start the first page of every new chapter halway down the page and indent the first line of each paragraph by a half inch. I include my contact information, genre, title, etc on a separate cover sheet - not on the first page as specified here.

I don't have that MARKET book and I'm not a SCBWI member so I can't look up that information at the moment. Anyone want to help me out here with some specifics?

Edit: If, for some reason, you'd rather email me instead of post comments here, my email address is mindirochelle at yahoo dot com. Thanks!

Set back #8,553,221. Approximately.

Several of my classmates in a 2004-05 writing class used to say that they didn't like their friends and family members to know they're writing a novel because then those friends and family members will harass them all the time with questions about how the book's coming along. I've never had a huge problem with that. I mean, I get the questions, too, but since I love talking about my writing, I'm usually glad when people ask rather than annoyed. But right now, I'm dreading talking about it.

You see, I've been counting down the scenes until I finish. I was so sure I'd be done before mid-February. But, with only three scenes to go to the end(!!!!!), I have discovered a huge flaw in my story timeline. It has to be fixed. There is no other way. Fixing it requires going backward and changing something in a previous scene, of course. Which requires changing something else. Which requires changing something else. Etc. Because everything that happens in the last forty percent of the story is dependent on what comes before. It has to work like clockwork. I have to unravel things all the way back to page 170 (I'm on 241 right now) in order to make everything flow.

I've kind of been beating myself up over this. Why didn't I see it before? I could have saved myself all this work! The thing is, in outline form, what I have works just fine. It was only when I actually wrote the scenes that I was able to see that it doesn't feel right.

So, now I have to go backward and make the changes before I can finish the final scenes. The last time I had to make changes like this, it took me two weeks. This will take at least two weeks. Maybe even four weeks. Now I've gone from having ONLY THREE SCENES LEFT to having those scenes plus 70 pages to revise again.

For probably the first time ever, I'm completely dreading the "How's the novel coming?" questions. I was so close to finishing! And, in my excitement, I told everyone. But now I'm not.

I know my story will benefit tremendously from making these changes, but at the moment, this sure is a let down.

Writing meme

I got this from my friend, Annika.

What’s the last thing you wrote? A one-page scene that takes place very near the end of THE FAKE MCCOY.

Was it any good? My husband thinks so, and he's been picky lately.

What’s the first thing you wrote that you still have? I have a book about cats and kittens that I wrote in fifth grade. To be honest though, it's pretty much all plagerism. Back then I didn't know that changing the order of words in a sentence wasn't quite the same thing as "putting it into my own words."

Write poetry? Indeed no.

Angsty poetry? Same as above. But if I did write poetry, it would most likely be of this sort.

Favorite genre of writing? YA, contemporary coming of age.

Most fun character you’ve ever created? Fun. Hmmm. Fun. Kendall was a lot of fun to write in my earlier drafts, but some of the changes I've made make her less fun. She has more depth now. It's a trade off, I guess.

Most annoying character you’ve ever created? Carr, an antagonist in THE FAKE MCCOY is pretty far up there, I'd say.

Best plot you’ve ever created? I don't think I've created great plot yet or any plot that is superior to another plot really. But I'm learning and the execution is improving.

Coolest plot twist you’ve ever created? I don't want to tell! It's a surprise! But it's in my current ms.

How often do you get writer’s block? I don't get writer's block per se. Sometimes, I just need time to work something out in my head before I can write it. I hate that, especially when it goes on for days. I'm currently in one of those phases right now (and it doesn't help that I'm sick as well) and I'm frustrated. Hence, the typing of this meme.

Write fan fiction? I never have.

Do you type or write by hand? I write notes in a journal. But the actual draft is always typed.

Do you save everything you write? For a while. But once I know for sure that I won't be using a scene, I'll sometimes take some time to go in and delete it.

Do you ever go back to an idea after you’ve abandoned it? I have't so far.

What’s your favorite thing you’ve written? The ms. I'm working on now - THE FAKE MCCOY.

What’s everyone else’s favorite story that you’ve written? Everyone else hasn't read it yet! I hope the answer will be the ms. I'm working on now!

Do you ever show people your work? Yes. I show certain people every scene as I complete them. Others, I show the entire work to when it's done.

Did you ever write a novel? I've completed one and I am close to completing another.

Ever written romance or angsty teen drama? No romance. All I write is angsty teen drama!

What’s your favorite setting for your characters? Small (fictional) towns in Washington State.

How many writing projects are you working on right now? Just the one.

Do you want to write for a living? Yes!

Have you ever won an award for your writing? In fifth grade, I won a George Washington poetry contest. My poem and my picture were published in the local paper. It was... embarrassing. I had to read my poem in front of a bunch of people and it was so bad that I wanted to cry. In fact, thinking of that poem makes me want to cry TO THIS DAY.

Ever written anything in script or play format? No, but I would love to someday.

What are your five favorite words? Currently, I like "hyperbole." And I've always been a big fan of "maniacal." I don't use them in my current project though. Drawing a blank for any other favorites right now.

Do you ever write based on yourself? Sometimes. Certain characters, dialogue, and situations are from things I've experienced.

What character have you created that is most like yourself? Probably Carah, the protag for my first completed manuscript. There is also a little of me in Rosetta of my current ms.

Where do you get ideas for your characters? I have no clue whatsoever! They just come to me.

Do you ever write based on your dreams? I have, but most of those scenes get cut.

Do you favor happy endings, sad endings, or cliff-hangers? Of the choices, I'd say happy. I am also a sucker for the bittersweet.

Have you ever written based on an artwork you’ve seen? No.

Are you concerned with spelling and grammar as you write? To a certain extent. But my punctuation is atrocious at times so I have to let it go, knowing I'll come back and fix it later.

Ever write anything in chatspeak (how r u?) Never.

Entirely in L337? I don't even know what this means!

Was that question appalling and unwriterly? I don't know. Because I don't know what it means!

Does music help you write? Yes, especially when I need to get myself in the right mood. Playing a song or CD on repeat that reflects the protag's emotions really works for me.

Quote something you’ve written. Whatever pops into your head. "I am dead fucking serious about this. And I swear to God, I will never speak to you again if you don't leave me alone."