At my (private) high school, we had "Chapel" whenever the schedule dictated (once a month? Once a week? I don't remember right now). In Chapel, there were lots of announcements and a prayer or two, I'm sure. But twice a year, chapel was replaced with Week of Prayer during which, we had to be in the church for, like two hours every day for the whole week, during which guest speakers would give sermons and prayers and such.
Below are notes my friend Matt and I wrote to each other during one of those sermons when we were 17.
For context, if I'm remembering this correctly, I was like, "Oh, this is so boring! I'm dying!" and Matt gave me paper and a pen and said, "Here. You should write me a love note."
So I did. Sort of:
Matthew -- Oh, Matt. I really don't have anything of intelligence to say. Hope you don't mind. This has just been a dandy day. Actually, I'm a little bored. Please don't kill me. I just couldn't think! Please Matt!
What kind of love note is this?! I'm gonna kill you for this.
No! Matt! Please!
There is no getting out of it this time! I will destroy you!
You are so cruel. I thought you loved me! What about all those special times we've shared? How can you forget?
Oh, Mindi. I'm so sorry. My mind must have run away from me. Please, will you ever forgive me?
Oh yes! Yes, Matt. I am so happy! Ecstatic!
Thank-you! I'm so glad we got this settled. Now, will you write me a real love note?
Matt, my love --
You alone are the object of my lustful desires. Let's run away together and show our true feelings. Embed yourself in my heart, for this is what fate holds for us.
Deepest love and affection,
I am glad that we can finally express our true emotions for each other freely. The love that is between us is like slime clinging to our bodies, holding us together.
You are so romantic. My pulse beats like that of a young doe in heat when my eyes gaze upon those words. I'm jealous of your pen because it is in your hands and I am not.
Probably the part that is most amusing to me (other than the fact that I totally ripped off Brian Krakow/Jordan Catalano's love letter to Angela Chase with that last line) is that the notes were written on the fronts and back of these special strips of paper: