I'm staying home from work for most of the day today to see if I can get these scenes in order. My deadline for these revisions isn't until "the beginning of December," but I want to see if I can get these certain pages to Liesa ASAP. If she hates what I'm doing, I'll have to start over completely. If that happens, I don't even know where I'll go with it.
I'm freaking out about this. In one new scene, Seth does a bad thing. A bad thing that is absolutely his fault and not merely the result of some kind of misunderstanding. It brings a new meaning to rock bottom for him.
I feel like it's been building up to this for the whole story, but I haven't been willing to write it. Even yesterday, Dwayne read the scenes and said I was holding back. "Why are you letting him off the hook? Don't let him lie to himself about what he did! He needs to get a clear picture of what he's doing so that he can make the changes and realizations that he needs to make."
Well, yeah. But ack.
I am just so worried that readers who have been on his side all the way up to this point will start hating him, and that I'm making my female characters look weak for being willing to forgive him. And, of course, I'm terrified that Liesa won't like this new direction and will want me to come up with something new. I don't have a lot of time for something new.