I have made a goal to finish a first draft of something before the end of July.  (Actually, the original goal was June 30th, but it sounds like I'll have most of July free, too.)

Now, those of you who have known me a while know that this goal is insane.  In the past year (or four), I've gotten myself into this pattern of ridiculousness where I can't/won't start writing a new scene until I've polished the current one so that it's good enough to show people.  Then, moving forward, if I discover that I have to cut one of the scenes that I've spent those 20+ hours writing and polishing, I get kind of depressed about it and lose my motivation.  I waste even more time pondering, researching, and reworking my outline to make sure scenes are "worth" writing. 

I know this approach is bad.  I know it only holds me back.  And this is why I've decided to do something about it.

For now, I'm not allowing myself to type anything.  All of my scenes are being handwritten and LEFT ALONE.  I'm planning to write scene after scene in whatever order I think of them.  (Yes, this means no real outlining is allowed, either.  But I do have a good idea in my head for the progression of the story.)  When I've finally written all the scenes I think I'll need for the draft, then--and only then--will I let myself start typing them up.

Now, I know that with the typing will come revision a.k.a. my obsession.  That's okay, though.  Because by the time it gets to that point, I should have at least a couple of dozen scenes in rough form already completed.   

So, I'm doing sort of a variation of YAMGWriMo.  I'm not aiming for the 30,000 words specifically, and I will let myself go longer than June 30th, if necessary, without considering myself a failure.  I'm aiming to hand write a beginning, middle, and end along with as many other scenes as I can think to include so that I can say, "I've finished a first draft!"

I've put two days into this experiment so far.  I can see that it's going to be very, very difficult for me to keep plowing forward without getting to rewrite and polish these scenes.  All day today, I kept coming up with ideas of what I want to do with the scene I wrote on the bus this morning.  Those ideas will have to wait! 

Yikes.  It makes me feel panicky and almost itchy to leave things alone.